reflections.

i do have to confess that after watching the loving love scene in "Its In the Water" and listening to this song that i've been hung up on my first. i hurt her a lot as i have so many other women that i've loved. i think that i try to sabotage my happiness so that i can pay for the hurt i've caused. i know that things between my first and i will never be again. i had my chance at 19. i know that she doesn't want anything to do with me. all i can romanticize is the brief time we had together when i was the happiest with a woman. we loved each other so greatly and purely. she loved me purely. i miss having someone looking at me the way she did or finding me beautiful and sexy. desireble. i miss that look. i threw it all away. for nothing and immaturity. so i'd like to scream a thousand sorry's to all i've loved: Sara, Andrea and the other.


Reflections by Diana Ross and the Supremes

Through the mirror of my mind
Time after time
I see reflections of you and me

Reflections of,
The way life used to be
Reflections of,
The love you took from me

Oh, I'm all alone now
No love to shield me
Try in a world that's...
A distorted reality

Happiness you... took from me
And left me alone
With only memories
Through the mirror of my mind
Through each tear that I've cried
Reflects the hurt I can't control

'Cause although you're gone
I keep holdin' on
To the happy times
Ooh, when you were mine

As I peer through the window
Of lost time
Looking over my yesterdays
And all the love I gave all in vain


All the love
All the love that I've wasted
All those tears
All the tears that I've tasted
All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears
I see a dream that's lost
From the hurt,
That you have caused
Everywhere I turn,
Seems like everything I see
Reflects the love that used to be

In you I put
All my faith and trust
And right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust

After all the nights
I sat alone on wept
Just a handfull of promises
Are all that's left, of loving you

Reflections of,
The way life used to be
Reflections of,
The love you took from me
In you I put, all my faith and trust
And right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust