epidemic.

today i watched the movie, "After Stonewall", which documents the happenings and history of the Gay and Lesbian movement from 1970's til now. of course alot of it has to do with the AIDS epidemic and it makes me sad. it makes me think of my uncle who is infected and how he is dealing with it. he's had it since i was in 7th grade, at 13, and now i'm 27. he's still alive and has a family. i just think how scary it must be to live with something that will eventually kill you. i also think about the many unknown people in the world who have dies from it and are infected.

for all of the hetero, gay men and lesbian women: please use protection when having sex. 10 seconds of pleasure isn't worth dying for! and if you are infected, don't be ashamed but instead be vocal!! silence = death

i know i am but a small blog that a handfull of people read, but hopefully the ones that do read this may be more aware!

poem.

Passing by Judith Barrington

Light-fingered wind teases our bare skin
as we stride with an easy rhythm

for two good miles, breasting the hill
in shorts, socks and dusty boots

between salmon-pink ponderosas
crusty bark, etched with black.

At an unexpected bend in the trail
we stop, face to face with strangers-

the woman in front, shielding him
from our bare breasts and clumsiness.

In the blazing sun, the red bandanna
drags over my eyes, the hasty shirt

catches my sunglasses; i blush;
i curse, needing to pass.

The shirtless man mumbles
close to me on the foot-wide trail

and i cover my sweaty breasts-
blushing and cursing and passing.

this song has been in my head and in my heart. thinking about my parents farm in rural WA makes me want to claim the open land and the open sky.

Home on the Range, sung by Tori Amos

(Home, home on the range)
Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam
Where the deer and the antelope play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Home home on the range
Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam
Where the deer and the antelope play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Oh, give me a land where the bright diamond sand
Flows lazily down the stream
Where the graceful white swan goes a gliding along
Like a maid in a heavenly dream.

Home home on the range
Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam
Where the deer and the antelope play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day...

just remember i love you.

i see all around me people with full lives. not necessarily productive but full and busy. i keep waiting to start mine, at 27. i do nothing real with my time. today i made stationary, but thats about it. i move from one little project obsession to another. plus there are my correspondances from varied US locations. but those are fleeting things. i don't have a concrete day to day thing. like my dad said, he would be miserable if he had my life. i am but masking it quite well. i work, come home and watch tv and putter online, eat, watch the Godfather video game being played and then pass out. thats almost daily. yikes!